July 19, 2010

Dear Tatay,

So much has happened in the past few months since I have seen you.  I miss you so much.  I wish that you were here to see how much life has changed without you here.  I wish you were here to see everyone gather together like a family, something that barely happened when you were still around.  I have decided that I am going to major in Aerospace Engineering and I never told you that either.  I also joined a sport for the summer and I know that is something you would have enjoyed to hear.  I love it so much!  It is hard work but it pays off when I have a medal around my neck.  I know you would have loved to watch a race, seeing how you were a sports advocate and all.  Mikey's doing well, quite well actually.  He has gained so much weight.  I wish you could see him now.  You'd be very happy.  He'd be ecstatic to see his best friend too.  Te Diane is moving out of her condo and into a new place by the end of this month.  Did you get to see her condo before?  I don't remember.  Te Rachel is doing well too.  She's been working tons and she recently went to Las Vegas for 4th of July.  I went to Lake Tahoe with a group of friends and watched the fireworks at a private beach.  How are the fireworks from heaven?  I bet you saw a lot, a whole array from different places. 

I am crying just writing this because I miss you so much.  I put your picture in a photo frame and put it up in my room so that I can see your face everyday when I wake up.  I think about you everyday and I see you in everything I do.  Sometimes I am cooking and a memory of you cooking would pop up in my head.  Sometimes I close my eyes and I can see you taking a nap in the patio with Mikey.  You in your white shirt and yellow cup.  I cleaned my closet yesterday and I found a picture of you that I hid in one of my family photo boxes.  I remember when I did that.. I think I was 13 or something.  I love you.  I hope you can see how happy I am and how well the rest of the family is doing.  I hope you are feeling well and doing great in heaven with Nanay.  Cook up and I will be reinventing your lemon pie soon.  Love you

Carissa

There is so much more I have to learn about the world -- about life.  

But I will take one step at a time and look within myself first for the secret of happiness and love.. of life.  

Those are the words of Dr. Seuss.

As another closing weekend came upon me, I felt my eyes bulging with tears.  I have never been so emotionally attached to a group of people in my life.  High School Musical 2 has been such an amazing experience for me and others.  I auditioned for this show on a whim and the experience that I got out of it makes it one of the best of my acting career.  It takes a whole lot to have a group of people to click instantly and have that special chemistry on stage -- one that you have to develop with love.  I can absolutely say that I have met friends in this show that I know I will keep in touch with.  My Entity -- Jennifer, Joanna, and Addy.. they gave this experience a whole new meaning to me.  Theatre isn't just about showcasing your talents, it is about bonding with your castmates, learning from each other and becoming a better person. 

Last night's show was fantastic and it really sparked a different kind of fire in my heart.  Before going on for the finale, I was crying uncontrollably in the wings as my Sharpettes gave me really big hugs.  I could not suppress my emotions and the thoughts of how much they have impacted me throughout my journey in this show.  For the first time in my life I feel like I have a group of friends that I have a real connection with.  It takes a lot from me to emotionally connect with a person and really open my heart to them 100%.  I feel that with my entity, and I am so grateful that I met them.  I am completely embracing those moments I had with them and treasuring it in my heart. I am looking forward to spending my spring break with my wildcats.  I don't care about the extra miles I have to drive to be with them because the memories we build together are priceless.  I do theatre because I love every experience with them. It is what I love.  It is what I do for me. 

There is so much more to say about my love for my friends but there are not enough words that can completely describe the true meaning of love.  All I know is that my heart gets bigger every time I look back at those uncontrollable laughs and moments.  I thank each one of them for entering my life and being part of my journey... It is what I live for.  I live to learn and love from everyone.  That is the meaning of my life and I aim to keep it that way until the day I become a part of this earth.

Carissa